Get Up. And Back Up. And Back Up.

Every day of our lives, we are on the verge of making those slight changes that would make all the difference.

— Mignon McLaughlin

This year is about accepting that whatever it is I’m doing to become Mr. Author Man, I’m going to have to do it over and over and over and over—there’s no one true thing that, once inculcated as a habit by dutifully carrying it out for no less than 62 days, or whatever, now I’m a different person for my whole life.

Instead it’s just: try something, it doesn’t really work. Keep trying it, it works a little. Stop trying it because you got distracted, try something else. Keep trying it, it doesn’t really work. Keep trying it, it works a little.

This feels like a non-sustainable way to achieve a creative process, but… but… but… I’m not Stephen King, as self-described in On Writing. I’m not Chris Fox and I’m not Joanna Penn and it doesn’t matter. My life is the slow exploration of discovering what my life is. I hope that involves writing books instead of just wanting to, but in the same way that Stephen Pressfield talks about the professional not being married to their work—you just DO the work, and the outcome doesn’t matter, you just go do the next thing—I want to treat my whole life that way.

I might mess up my next intimate relationship in a way that’s only 20% different from how I messed up the last two; well, then I learn something new and move on. And ditto for trying to get a book written.

Last week or so, I’ve been better at getting to bed around 9-9:30 instead of 11. I finished binging The Wire and am trying to avoid picking up another TV show or video game, those being the easiest evening timesinks for me. My alarm is going off at 6:30, but I’m sleeping in ’til 7:30, which makes it hard to be ready to start writing at 8:30. But I can work on the sleeping-in thing.

I finally formulated little affirmations to say into the mirror in the morning and the evening and put them in a daily checklist in my phone—creating rituals, something I’ve meant to do for months and months, since I quit my previous rituals for no apparent reason.

And when I realize in a month or two that all of the above fell down, again, all I really want from myself is to sigh, smirk, sweep the cards back into a pile, shuffle the deck… and start the boring, tedious, frustrating labour of balancing their edges against each other again. And again. And again. And again.

You don’t need to earn your awakening, you just need to put both feet in and remember to wake up. Now. And now. And now.

— Jessica Graham

Joanna Penn’s End of Year Podcasts

I try to limit the number of writing-related things I consume, if only to rein myself in from just listening to podcasts and thinking that—rather than working on my novel—will make me a writer1.

Joanna Penn’s The Creative Penn podcast is essential, though. She perfectly mixes practicality with optimism, both of which are attitude I need immersion in.

I just listened to her 2019 reflection and 2020 plan episodes, and strongly recommend both: I’ll be listening over again, I reckon, when it’s time for me to think beyond writing the next scene.

  1. Limited success on this so far. 😜

The Next Thing to Try: Calendar and Coffee

I got some good advice from Patrick Rhone I’m gonna try: using my calendar to stack habits.

The basic idea is: have a regular scheduled appointment to do a thing I like. Say, have coffee at a nearby place every Friday at noon.

After a few weeks that becomes “something I do”—I expect to do it, plan for it. Then, add another appointment afterwards to write for an hour, say.

In time, that chains the habit of writing to the habit of getting out of the house and getting a coffee, the latter of which I do not have a strong resistance to doing.

I already do the café thing pretty regularly, anyway… this way, I’m making it part of my system for getting work done.

Worth a shot! Let’s see how it goes.

Tim Grahl on Book Marketing in Three Steps

I like Tim Grahl’s stuff. He was introduced to me by my boss, Sean McCabe, and I saw him speak (and scored a copy of his book, Running Down a Dream) at Craft + Commerce this past summer. Tim’s got a blog post I’ve had bookmarked for a while, and I’d rather bookmark it here, for the benefit of you and me, than just keep one more browser tab eternally open on my desktop…

A Simple Marketing Plan for Fiction Authors – Book Launch

I’ll just spoil the ending:

BOOK MARKETING IS NOT COMPLICATED OR TIME-CONSUMING

The most common reasons people avoid making progress with their marketing is because a) they don’t know what to do and b) they are afraid it will take too long.

Follow this simple plan to get started and you’ll see it make a difference.

Good stuff. While one could argue that thinking about book marketing when I’m still mostly avoiding working on my draft is just one more distraction… I’ll come back to this when the time is right.

If It Were Easy

It’s been a while… as usual.

I’ve started working on my novel again, in fits and starts. I determined, with my coach, that my deadline for being done the draft should be March 31, with May 31 as a backstop. (In other words, I’ll aim for the nearer deadline, but be content if it takes me ’til the later one.)

I agreed to set aside two one-hour blocks a day, five days a week, to work on the project. I haven’t exactly done that. But I have worked on it for a couple of hours in the past week… which is more than in the previous months.

So be it.

I have a stack of index cards I made when I first planned out the book, and I’m adding to them: there are scenes in there that don’t fit the story anymore, or never made it into the draft in the first place. And now I’m revamping a lot of the last half of the book, introducing a different antagonist, etc. It feels good, but it still feels like the project is on the periphery of my awareness, like, I try to remember to work on it, ever.

I had an idea recently, that it’s not just you either build a habit of writing every day, or nothing. It’s worse:

If you’re not building a habit of writing every day, you’re building a habit of NOT WRITING. Which is going to make it fucking hard to get a novel done, believe me.

Yikes.

Sounds dreadful, right? But there’s another side to it: this question that Tim Ferriss has mentioned asking himself:

What would this look like if it were easy?

Fact is, it’s not real hard to put a little time into the book every day, even if it’s just a few minutes. Just one card, just one scene. It’s when the whole project turns into this big ball of feeling bad about yourself that it seems impossible. It’s not impossible, it isn’t even a big deal.

Even writing regular posts for this blog: what would it look like if it were easy? I got the idea for what I’m writing right now whilst washing dishes, and why not just sit down and type it out, half-formed, edit it… it’s fine. It’s something. It’s a record that I exist, instead of no such record. If I write a book, if I write a hundred books, that’s all they’ll be. I’m not out to change the world, just have something other than my eventual epitaph that says, “Hi. I was here.”

I’m not sure this is a very good post. Know what? I’m publishing it anyway. The way to get better is to just write a thing and then write another thing… Whenever I think too hard about what I’m doing, I just don’t do it. And that’s the only surefire way to fuck everything up.

The Missing Legacy

I’ve said this before, but I get jealous when I see someone who’s created something on an ongoing basis, and realize that even if I’ve wanted to do a thing for years, I haven’t been, so there’s no legacy.

I like the Accidental Tech Podcast, which I’ve seen described as “a tech show we accidentally created while trying to do a car show.” Doesn’t sound very serious, right? It’s a podcast that spun off of another podcast… but now it’s got 354 episodes, running for almost seven years.

What was I doing seven years ago? Thinking about creating things and sharing them with the world, sure… but not doing it, or not keeping up with it.

And I’ve spoken before about the blogs with decade-long archives, and I recently saw this great video about beeple, who’s posted a piece of digital art every day, without fail, for over a decade.

When you’re driven to make things, but you don’t make things, it eats away at you. The way I always wear through the right knee of my jeans after a few years—don’t ask me what’s so different between my right and left knees, but it’s always the right one—your spirit is eroding inside you when you let that creative energy stay pent up, or spend it on pursuits, outlets, that leave nothing in their wake but exhausted time and attention.

When asked about regret I’ll say I’m not into it, because it has such little utility: you can’t change the past, so imagining what it might be like if you had made any given decision (cross the street, take the job, flirt with the attractive person) differently is just an exercise of pure fantasy… and I’d rather channel that energy into writing novels1.

So, there, that’s a perfect example: spend your time fantasizing, or spend your time making things and sharing them with the world. Only one of those leaves a legacy behind, and maybe that’s what I long for above anything else: something I can look at, let alone show to everyone else, and say, “See? I existed. I dreamed, and I gave form to my dreams, and now you can dream them, too.”

  1. There’s something else here I’ve been meaning to write about, coming off of 127 hours of Skyrim over the last month or so: why it’s so much easier, and so dangerous, to play around in someone else’s “fantasy sandbox” instead of playing in my own.

Changing Up the Plot Without Throwing Away the Story

I got 50,000 words into a draft of a novel and sort of slammed to a halt. Well, actually I slammed to a halt several times in the course of writing those words, too. There are questions about the story I’ve been avoiding for a long, long time, and I’ve realized I can’t proceed without answering them. My last talk with my writing coach shook some of this loose, and I feel much more capable of going forward now. Here’s the deal:

For better or worse, I chose to write a story where technologically-superior people from one civilization are shipwrecked on the home of a different, technologically inferior civilization, and the parallels with European colonization of the Americas have been dogging me the whole time.

To put it bluntly, and leaving aside the actual skin tones of my fantasy people: I don’t want to tell a story with any whiff of white people good, brown people bad.

There are lots of different ways I could have run that scenario instead (maybe the shipwrecked land on the shores of a more advanced civilization, a la When True Night Falls) but Joe helped me figure out how to skirt this without throwing away the whole story:

  1. Avoid making the indigenous people, or any one of them, the antagonist
  2. There has to be something inherent to the indigenous civilization that is key to succeeding in the challenge of the novel

Luckily, I already have (2) figured out. As for (1), when I was blocked months ago two ideas came together I came up with a third, antagonistic force that would assail the colonists and the indigenous people and require them to work together, but I’d considered that a thing to use in future books.

Instead, I can use it in this one, if I allude to it earlier and weave it into the story. That avoids having the indigenous people be “the bad guys”; instead, the colonists and the indigenous people have tensions and conflicts, but those must be set aside when this greater threat surfaces. This solves a large number of problems with the narrative, actually.

The next question is: who is this third, antagonistic force? I already had ideas for them, but, like I said, I was going to use them in later books, so hadn’t really fleshed it out. Well, the time of flesh is upon us1.

The civilization that’s sort of the “protagonist”, or that contains the protagonists, of my stories is relatively secular, at least in terms of political organization. It would be interesting to have a theocracy invade them… So now the question is, how and why do you get a theocracy and what would drive the invasion?

The dumb way to do this is a common problem when writing the “other” in your stories: make everyone a religious zealot. But a culture isn’t a “hive mind”, no matter how cynical you are about Facebook; the people in the civilization are individuals, and they participate in their culture, interact with it, in different ways.

So what’s a real-life analogue to a theocratic society engaging in a holy war? How about the Crusades? Even from the small amount of reading I’ve done, it’s clear the Christians and the Muslims were not two homogeneous masses driven by dogma to break lances on each other. The Crusades were perpetrated, and the Crusaders participated, for lots of different reasons, the same reasons people do anything.

Postulate: Wars happen because enormously-powerful interests are, uh, interested in them happening. Medieval society sure seems bloodthirsty in retrospect, but the vast bulk of people have always just wanted to live their lives in peace regardless of what century it is.

Even in the more-dictatorial societies that are typical in medieval-style fantasy fiction, just because you’re the king or empress doesn’t mean you can say, “Hey, you hundred-thousand people, I know you’re busy trying not to starve or die of the plague, but go pick up swords and die horribly hundreds of miles from home,” and your civilization will respond, “How high?”

This is perhaps even more true in such societies, because they didn’t tend to have standing armies (the economics just weren’t there), which means you really did have to give people incentives (which, sure, probably included religious dogma and the threat of execution) to get them to fight for you.

So all that being said, this theocratic civilization I’m inventing would probably only build an army and a navy and sail across the sea to make war on the heathens if they had a bunch of damned-compelling reasons to. Sure, the high priest might tell the people he has a message from God, and, depending on how your fiction is wired, he might have actually experienced something supernatural, this is fantasy after all…

But what seems more likely and more interesting to me is that there’s some kind of struggle in the government of this civilization that makes invading a foreign nation seem like an attractive idea. Maybe there’s an upstart political class that’s challenging the authority of the theocratic class, or vice-versa, and the way to keep the people in line is with a Crusade—good opportunity to extol the supremacy of God’s Chosen, and thereby keep the people excited about having the high priests rule over them—as long as you win, of course. It’s high-risk, high-reward. And the economic incentives of a crusade could get the political class to play along, too.

Does that sound cynical? Well, read about why the actual Crusades took place, and agree with me that the best fiction does not, even if it’s fantasy and dragons are casting spells on centaurs to appease a living volcano, divorce itself from human nature.

  1. Which sounds ike someting James Earl Jones said in the first Conan movie